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co.de.pen.dence (co.di.pen´.dens) n. [root ME. dependaunce <> Also written co-dependence. The condition or fact of being codependent; specifically, a) tendency to place the needs and wants of others first and to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own, b) continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others, c) anxiety and boundary distortions relating to intimacy and separation, d) difficulty expressing feelings, e) excessive worry how others may respond to one's feelings, f) undue fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others, g) self-esteem dependent on approval by others, h) tendency to ignore own values and attempt to adhere to the values of others.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Accepting Tragedy With Serenity

I haven't posted in while, but have missed how healing it is for ME to express myself. While I have a desire to help bare other's codependent burdens, I must admit that this blog has proven a selfish way for me to feel better about my journey through expressing my thoughts and feeling along the way.
My sister gave me a beautiful little book that I carry in my purse with me. I pull it out, read one of its little pages, and without fail, my outlook changes and my day is better.
I thought I would share these pages with you, as I read them. That way we can be uplifted together. :)
The book is called Letting Go: Meditations for Codependents. Its a Harper/Hazelden book.
Today I opened to a page entitled, "Accepting Tragedy." Here is what it says:
"no matter who we are or where we are on our path, tragedy can strike us or our loved ones.  As Leo Buscaglia says, 'We cannot stop a hurricane, silence a storm, or keepa loved one from leaving us.' These things, and others, jut happen."
"It may be hard for us to understand why God allows tragedies to occur. We may feel betrayed. We may want to give up on God or this whole spirituality business. We may wonder why we should bother working so hard at our spiritual growth, only to be ignored in our time of need."
"But after our grief and our anger, we can experience another feeling:  acceptance. God has wisdom and a plan we know nothing about. Letting go means accepting both the painful and the joyful gifts our Higher Power sends us."
The affirmation at the bottom is: I accept life's tragedies with serenity.
I think this is a beautiful statement. Accepting life's tragedies with serenity is terribly difficult to do, but it makes so much more sense to me to accept it with serenity, than to fight it, dwell on it, and never feel the peace of true acceptance.
I can say I've made significant progress on my journey to codependent recovery this year. I have made boundaries, and I have stuck to those boundaries even when it was extremely painful to do so.
I know I have a long road ahead of me still. But I can choose to walk this road with acceptance, serenity, and with my head up, looking forward, rather than looking back.