My "I"dentiy

I recently stumble upon a website about codependency, and while I felt that overall it was messy and hard to navigate, I did find one article interesting.
A portion of the article discussed the fact that codependents don't have their own identity. Here is a direct quote from the site:
"Codependents lack in self-perception and can only identify who they are through that of a second person. They manifest 'who they are' only through another's eyes, thoughts, or views of them...and without another they are unable to find their own identity. Codependents tend to latch onto partners because of this lack of being able to self-identify through themselves."
I was taken back! I knew I struggled with self esteem, and feeling loved. This helped explain that!
The article also talked about how self absorbed codependents are, and yet they feel like they do everything for everyone else...hmmm. Sounds familiar.
What I read was a good boost for me to take charge of my identity!
What do I like to do? What's my favorite food? What do I love to do? What do I want accomplish in life? What do I think about myself?
I realized some things that I have let go of, simply because I became so codependent on my spouse that I absorbed his interests and dis-interests that I had forgotten about them. Yet, there really was no reason to dismiss these things. They are a part of my upbringing...who I am, and what I used to enjoy as a part of my life. My independent life...no matter how small that independence may have been.
So, I have decided to once again, discover things I used to enjoy and find myself again! My "I"dentity!
I have been so afraid of being thought of as selfish that I haven't tried to really think of my own needs and desires. Because I let go of myself this way, I actually became more self absorbed and needy than I want to admit.
I sincerely hope to change all of that! I want to me! To know what I want, what's important, and what I really need, and not have any of it based on what I think others think of me and what they think is best for me! I have a brain, I will use it to think for myself!
My new favorite movie is The Blind Side, with Sandra Bullock. I have attached myself to her character! I love her independence and her self-confidence! She can be loving and firm at the same time! She is always standing up for her beliefs and she doesn't care what anyone else thinks. She knows who she is, and what is right! And she sticks to that! I admire this and hope to be more like this, since it rings true to who I feel I really am inside!
But, I won't be LeighAnn, I will be Sara! I will find my own strengths and my self confidence!
I will find my identity!