It's been a while...

So many changes have taken place in the last 2 weeks, so I haven't had the time to write as I have wanted.

I really wanted to share some thoughts about what I've been pondering on lately that have truly helped me to grow through some more recent trials.

As a codependent, it's been a tough couple of weeks. Mostly because I'm having to learn to let go again...in a different way.

Next weekend, a new chapter begins in my family, because my husband has decided to go to school in another state. Since I am in school and can't leave, and we don't want to move our kids on such short notice, we will be staying behind.

The logical and more "in-tune" part of me knows that this is the best thing for my family right now. I also know that it's an opportunity that we've needed as a family to grow and become closer while learning patience and endurance. But the codependent part of me...the insecure part of me and the emotional part of me, has been terrified!

I've been asking myself if I can really do all this by myself? What if things get worse while he's gone? What if, what if, what if...

I was driving myself and my poor husband crazy, and then one night, when my oldest was having a hard time getting to sleep because he was scared, I went in to talk with him and read him one of my favorite scriptures.  It is Moroni 8:16-17.

As I read this to him, I was struck upside the head with the realization that I had forgotten how this scripture applied to me. To everyone. No matter what you're afraid of. Here is what it states:
"...I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear."

Moroni goes on in the next verse to explain that perfect love is to have charity. Which I have written about before. But this time, it was so very clear that I need to have perfect love-charity-in order to cast out all my fears. No matter how silly or how valid they may be. 

I don't need to fear what will happen, if I can open my heart to the love of the Savior and love those around me and serve them however I can. To me, this means more directly, to serve my family and my husband the best I can while we go through these tough changes in our home.

Things have been tough in our home for a while. There's no denying that. And my kids have been amazing through it all. They are wonderful boys and I'm eternally grateful to have the privilege of being their mother.

I hope I can keep a hold of this new perspective throughout the next year. I want to let go of my codependent ways and have the faith and strength neccessary to "fear not."

Here goes...