I'm not even sure I should be writing on this blog today, because it's abundantly clear that I have failed my attempts to overcome my codependency...
Despite my most valiant attempts, here I am today feeling the weight of my failure. I am losing the battle.
Why is hind sight always 20/20?
I can look back over the last year and clearly see the codependent monster I have been. It's ugly. I am ashamed and embarrassed.
While I have made small improvements in the areas that I have written of and studied about. It has not been enough. I have not done enough. Changed enough. Loved enough.
I am pleading with the Lord for strength and comfort. It is always a difficult thing to be faced with my own mistakes and faults and pride. I have been humbled. I can now see.
I am so sorry. So very, very sorry.
When your tender heart is broken,
and your soul longs to forget,
When your face is red and stained
with the cold tears of regret.
When it seems no more
that love you'll find,
In the lonely grasp
of life unkind.
I'll take you in my loving arms,
and calm your anguished cries.
Until your heart emerges,
from the deep sea of goodbyes.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Discovering self love beyond abuse, trauma and divorce.
Blog photo
co.de.pen.dence (co.di.pen´.dens) n. [root ME. dependaunce <> Also written co-dependence. The condition or fact of being codependent; specifically, a) tendency to place the needs and wants of others first and to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own, b) continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others, c) anxiety and boundary distortions relating to intimacy and separation, d) difficulty expressing feelings, e) excessive worry how others may respond to one's feelings, f) undue fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others, g) self-esteem dependent on approval by others, h) tendency to ignore own values and attempt to adhere to the values of others.
Hear Ye, Hear Ye!
Calling all codependents (or those of you who are not, but know someone who is):
I hope you'll walk with me on this journey. You are not alone! I know your pain. Your anxiety. Your fear.
I also know what it is like to live with codependency.
Please share this site with others who may benefit from the ideas and perspectives shared!
I am also reading a remarkable book called, "Codependent No More," by Melody Beattie. The exercises in that book are the ones I will be discussing and venturing to accomplish and understand. It has been a huge help to me already, and I haven't even finished the book yet! :)
I hope you'll walk with me on this journey. You are not alone! I know your pain. Your anxiety. Your fear.
I also know what it is like to live with codependency.
Please share this site with others who may benefit from the ideas and perspectives shared!
I am also reading a remarkable book called, "Codependent No More," by Melody Beattie. The exercises in that book are the ones I will be discussing and venturing to accomplish and understand. It has been a huge help to me already, and I haven't even finished the book yet! :)
Followers
2 comments:
beautiful poem. I think some of the best times to post are the times when you DO fail. It keeps it real. It keeps it human. I hope today was a better day. You are doing awesome, Sara! Love you!
Candi!
Thanks for your comment, and email! I will try to figure out how to make those adjustments on here!
Today is better...and I'm doing better!
As hard as it is to keep moving forward, there is such a warm reward for getting through the days when I am forced to humble myself and really look at myself in order to progress and grow.
I can actually FEEL the forward movement of my mind, spirit and emotions when this all happens. It's a never ending learning process. So, better to recognize early on how to proceed without too much craziness, right?!
I appreciate your testimony and your thoughts in your email. They opened my eyes to a deeper understanding of agency!
I love you sis! xoxo
Post a Comment